Diabolical Doings

So back in High School, in my How To Dramatize Your Life class — AKA Drama — the teach invited us to go around the room and say what food described us. When it came my turn, I proclaimed myself to be a taco. "Sometimes I'm mild like the cheese," I said, "and sometimes I'm spicy like the meat."

Which brings me to my recent gift shopping caper—

 I disobeyed THE SIGN.  

I'm serious, dead serious. 

Here's the scene of the rebellion. I needed a glowing white robe from the top rack which I could not reach from my non-NBA-basketball-player-height. And I was in a hurry.

Aha! I spied a hook for retrieving high stuff and I nabbed it.

Did you notice the sign on the wall right above the hook?  

(OBSCURE CLOSE-UP OF SAID SIGN)

It says —and I'm rephrasing— DON''T YOU DARE TOUCH THIS HOOK. IT'S FOR EMPLOYEES ONLY AND WE DON'T WANT TO BE LIABLE FOR YOUR STUPIDITY.

I was in a hurry.

Despite past clumsical errors, I had faith in my ability to use the hook without stupidity. So I surreptitiously checked for employees in the area, pulled down 4 robes of the wrong size, and after laughing so much employees should've come running, I snagged me a robe of the right size.

(Photos have been judiciously altered to avoid recognition and recrimination and I will vehemently deny that the person in the photos is me should the urgent need arise.)

THREE CHEERS FOR TACOS!

WHAT FOOD ARE YOU LIKE?!