Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Seriously? Seriously!

Welcome fellow friends, colleagues, casual gawkers.
I finally finished the nightmare producing, hair yanking out ordeal of formatting my book to print for the book club to read. And I ordered it! Yes! I'll let you know how it all went after the book-club-ians discuss my book in their March meeting.

And now, I have a Pronouncement to make. Not an Announcement, mind you. That wouldn't be formal enough — a little too levitous, if you please.
So without further ado, I give you my Pronouncement

TODAY, I SHALL BE SERIOUS.

As of this very moment, I have a contemplative look on my face, one of deep earnestness. So, thusly attired, I deliver my ponderings and experiences.
Ahem—

A fortnight ago, I stumbled upon a rare find for sale, a jewel in my realm of living. 'Twas a set of fifteen books from 1901, titled:

THE BOOK OF THE THOUSAND NIGHTS AND ONE NIGHT: 
Now first completely done into English prose and verse, 
from the original arabic, by JOHN PAYNE

Gold leafed, Published in London, Limited to Five Hundred Copies— of which mine was No. 349.


I HAD to have it! To my profound delight, it hadn't been sold and I scooped them up with lightning euphoria. Happiness! HAPPINESS!! HAPPINESS!!!
Oh my. Seriousness, remember, seriousness. Ahem.

So I peeked in one of the books to launch my treasure hunt, found a good spot in the middle of volume III, cozied up in a blanket, and began reading the tale of
KEMEREZZEMAN AND BUDOUR.

The story goes that the king of the Khalidan Islands had scores of daughters and no sons. Fretting over the lack of an heir, he prayed "a two-bow prayer with a believing heart" And gladness! — he was blessed with a son! A son! — did you hear that?

And oh, what a splendid son! He'd been "clad in the habit of beauty and crowned with the crown of perfection."
Behold! A picture of him with an angel who "abode awhile, 
astounded at his beauty and grace."





Ah, the description of him that follows!—you've GOT to read this for yourself.

Oh no. I can't do it. I'm starting to laugh at the mere thought of it.
I'm so sorry. I rescind my Pronouncement—all seriousness is off.

Just start reading along this passage and you'll hit the part where you'll understand why I can't keep my oath. You just see if YOU can be serious—



CAPICHE? 



SOMETHING IN ARABIC PRINTED ALL BY ITS LONESOME ON A PAGE
BEFORE THE STORIES ALL BEGIN. WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE IT MEANS?




16 comments:

Tyrean Martinson said...

. . . "heavier than two bags of sand" . . . ok, that had me laughing . . .not sure if that was what you were going for, but it was really funny.

Susan Kane said...

Oh, yes, I understand.

J. A. Bennett said...

Hey! I didn't tell you that you could talk about my butt on here! ;)

Small Town Shelly Brown said...

My waist complains of the weight of my bags of sand as well ;)

That is a great little tale! I love those old stories. I wonder if I could librovox them?

Andrew Leon said...

What I want to know is how much those cost.
I've been looking for a good collection of the 1001 for a long time.

Katie Dodge said...

Ha ha! Hills of sand...
I love this old stuff! :)

Danica said...

That's ridiculous! If it didn't say that he was supposed to be attractive, I would have been wondering if that description was supposed to be good or bad. It sounds ridiculous!

Jenna Cooper said...

Hi, I wanted to let you know that I've given you a blog award over on my blog: http://findingthewriteway.blogspot.com

Coleen Patrick said...

I think my waist would complain too!!
So funny!!! Thanks for sharing Brenda :)

kirstenlopresti said...

Oh, that's unusual. I have no idea what the Arabic means. I do like the picture of the angel, though. Old books are so much fun!

Michelle L. Brown said...

So funny! I had to read it aloud to my husband, who wanted to know why I was snort laughing! But seriously, what a cool find!

Miranda Hardy said...

Very funny descriptions. Love it. Congrats on the great find, though.

David P. King said...

That's a great find! I'd totally do the same thing. :)

Sophia Chang said...

Whoa whoa - where did you find THIS? And I don't know if you care to share - how much did it cost???

Nicole said...

Okay, first of all, HILARIOUS! And two, I love those old books - such an awesome addition to your shelves!

Bonnie Gwyn said...

Haha! Brenda, you're hilarious. I totally understand now. Your blog's awesome as well!