Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Diabolical Doings

So back in High School, in my How To Dramatize Your Life class — AKA Drama — the teach invited us to go around the room and say what food described us. When it came my turn, I proclaimed myself to be a taco. "Sometimes I'm mild like the cheese," I said, "and sometimes I'm spicy like the meat."

Which brings me to my recent gift shopping caper—

 I disobeyed THE SIGN.  

I'm serious, dead serious. 

Here's the scene of the rebellion. I needed a glowing white robe from the top rack which I could not reach from my non-NBA-basketball-player-height. And I was in a hurry.


Aha! I spied a hook for retrieving high stuff and I nabbed it.


Did you notice the sign on the wall right above the hook?  

(OBSCURE CLOSE-UP OF SAID SIGN)

It says —and I'm rephrasing— DON''T YOU DARE TOUCH THIS HOOK. IT'S FOR EMPLOYEES ONLY AND WE DON'T WANT TO BE LIABLE FOR YOUR STUPIDITY.

I was in a hurry.

Despite past clumsical errors, I had faith in my ability to use the hook without stupidity. So I surreptitiously checked for employees in the area, pulled down 4 robes of the wrong size, and after laughing so much employees should've come running, I snagged me a robe of the right size.


(Photos have been judiciously altered to avoid recognition and recrimination and I will vehemently deny that the person in the photos is me should the urgent need arise.)


THREE CHEERS FOR TACOS!

WHAT FOOD ARE YOU LIKE?!



9 comments:

David P. King said...

Hiphip, Tacos!

That's too funny. I did not realize that Drama was also How To Dramatize Your Life. That would have been good to know when I was in drama. You want to get a shy kid confidence? Make him the lead in a middle school play. :)

Coleen Patrick said...

Funny post!
I'm wondering what I would've done, simply b/c I have a hard time disobeying signs (it's a sickness, i know). I guess it would all depend on how much I wanted that robe!!

Lisa L. Regan said...

I would have totally done the same thing! Hmmm . . . I'd have to think about the food thing. Probably potatoes. Very versatile, always there, goes with lots of stuff.

Danica said...

You are absolutely hilarious! And very daring, to disobey such a sign! That was a very crazy (and exhausting) day of shopping. Now let's see, me as a food? I think I'd be a green apple, because I'm sharp like the flavor, sometimes nice and sweet, and sometimes really sour. :)

Nicole said...

I've done that, too! Hilarious story.

Can I be a spice rack? Lots of different flavors - from the comfortingly familiar to the adventurous - and a zest for life! :)

kirstenlopresti said...

I've done the exact same thing! Why do they always put everything up so high?

Crystal Licata said...

Ha Ha! I would have done the same. You would have stood around forever waiting for someone to help. Hilarious!

P&L

Kimberly Krey said...

Fantastic story! Way to take things into your own hands. I'm too short for all sorts of shelves, so I often do things that have the store workers cringing and rushing over to help (if they catch me in the act). Can't think of a food for me, but I love the definition for yours - brilliant!

Amy said...

Happy Holidays Brenda! :)